


The Human Experience

by ArcaneAnima



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Death, F/M, Major Character(s), Self-Indulgent, Slow Burn, Spoilers, absolutely self indulgent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-05-07 10:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19207621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcaneAnima/pseuds/ArcaneAnima
Summary: You were stuck in a killing game with 15 other students-- but it wasn't the potential carnage that was bothering you.It was the mess inside your head and your heart that needed sorting out... and the anxiety-inducing urge to stick to the plan lest something (personally) worse occurs....But what was it?





	1. Regret

**Author's Note:**

> Italics are flashbacks, but if you're a veteran fic reader, I'm sure you already know that. Sorry if the formatting is kind of confusing.
> 
> Also, I'm re-writing the Miraculous Ladybug fic I had left discontinued, and I'm still writing for my Fire Emblem ficlet at my leisure, but recently I've gotten absolutely obsessed with V3.
> 
> This is kind of short, self-indulgent, and messy. Don't get your hopes up LOL

She stood stiffly before the curled-up corpse. The still-warm blood had begun to crawl across the floor, painting it a deep crimson, creeping towards her brown baby doll shoes like it was carrying the deceased’s wrath. 

_She had awoken in a classroom by herself in the beginning, with no memories and just panic in her veins. He was the first person she met, and he offered her kindness and stability soon after. His grip was tight around her wrist as he hauled her ass behind him, a murderous robot hot on your heels._

The words “I’m sorry” rang in her mind, over and over and over, but not even a bit of turmoil in her mind surfaced in her expression. She simply stared, committing the sight to memory. 

_Through the whole spiel with Monokuma and the Monokubs, he had stood by her side. He spoke to the other students while she stayed silent, the ice in her veins warming as chaos reigned around her. “It’s a lie… it must be a lie,” she had muttered, over and over again._

She took a few steps forward, her footfalls producing no sound due to the padding on her soles. She knelt beside the corpse, conscious of the seconds ticking by in her mind. There was a dull throbbing in her chest, and it wasn’t her heart beating. She grabbed the murder weapon in her gloved hands, tucking the Monopad under her arm, and ducked out of the scene in a blink. 

_He had mentioned things that no one else knew of… She shouldn’t have known either, but after the words “Ultimate Hunt” left his lips, she felt her expression of terror become stony as memories flooded into her mind… memories of lies, of betrayal, of pain, of death. But he had stayed with her even as everyone else had left the gymnasium. “I never got your talent, [Name],” he mused._

_“And I never got yours, Rantaro,” she answered smoothly, slightly startled at how steady her voice was._

_“Well, I’m not so sure myself, to be honest,” the green-haired male responded with a shrug, falling into step beside her as they made their way out. He side-eyed her subtly. “You seem pretty calm after all that trembling you were doing in there. You okay? In denial?”_

_She looked up at him briefly, his soft gaze, his kind smile, and felt a dull throbbing in her chest, but it wasn’t your heart beating. “You’re too kind, Rantaro,” she said with a smile. “That may get you killed.”_

_He chuckled. “You’d be surprised. But don’t worry,” he looked away, his own gaze turning steely. “I intend to end this killing game.”_

She took one last look at Rantaro Amami’s corpse before she disappeared, discarding of the murder weapon in her bin. She still had about a minute of free time before her disappearance would be deemed suspicious, so she fell atop her bean bag and let out a massive sigh. “Too bad,” she muttered softly into nothingness, smoothing out the wrinkles in your dress idly. The dull throbbing in your chest was subsiding as she lay a gloved hand over her heart, closing her eyes as the ticking continued to resound in her mind. “If only you had taken me seriously, Rantaro.”


	2. Seeking Comfort in Grief

You hadn’t expected the execution to be so… brutal. The sound of Kaede choking, gagging, as she hit the keys of the piano… It was overkill, and the only solace you got from her death was the assumption that her neck had snapped in the midst of it. Surely, she had died before the heavy wooden top of the instrument slammed atop her broken body. Surely. Right? 

You had all filed into the elevator after the trial, one by one, your padded shoes feeling like they were made out of lead. Monokuma’s maniacal laughter rang clear in your ears, and you were barely aware of the others around you. Your gloved hand was clenched into a trembling fist against your palpitating heart, eyes downcast as the elevator doors shut behind all fourteen of you-- two less than yesterday. Despite the crowded elevator, you felt alone in your thoughts, eyes unseeing, as you listened to Shuichi’s choked sobs. Kaito stood beside you, his fist still clenched from when he had punched Shuichi in the face. His shoulders were tense but shaking. Across from you, Miu was about as pallid as you felt, looking small next to a sniffling Gonta. 

_You did this,_ your mind repeated, _you did this._

_But I had to,_ you retorted back. You didn’t know why you had to, but you did… or else something worse may occur-- and with that conclusion, you let out a steady exhale as the elevator whirred to a halt. You were still mourning Rantaro, even though you were trying so hard to push the emotions to the deepest depths of your heart, and now you were mourning Kaede. Your classmates exited the elevator, some more sluggishly than others, leaving you and Shuichi lagging behind. 

In your peripheral, you saw Shuichi take a similar stance to you, his hand curling into a fist against his chest. The Ultimate Detective released a long breath-- just as you had-- but remained shaky. You couldn’t help yourself; you reached over and took his hand, leading him out of the elevator and standing just outside it as the machinery whirred to life once more and the entrance of the trial grounds camouflaged itself back into place. “Shuichi,” you said softly, “I’m sorry.” 

Shuichi lowered his head, eyes concealed by the shadow beneath his hat, but you could still see the shiny sheen of unshed tears. He took your apology, not as a confession as it could well have been, but as an expression of empathy. He remained silent as you squeezed his hand in yours, before he looked up and gave you a shaky smile. “You seemed to be good friends with Rantaro,” he spoke, “so… so I’m sorry, too.” You felt a heavy film of regret blanket over you, but you didn’t let it show in your expression. Rather, you kept a firm grip on his hand and stood with him in silence, both grieving for the deceased, seeking comfort it company. 

You felt your resolve crack a little at the utter despair within your classmates, how easy it was to decipher the anguish in the quiver of Shuichi’s lip, but there was ice and stone in your heart and the ever-present sense of urgency that you had to do what you had to do-- you had something precious to protect and you would make any sacrifice for it. You still didn’t know what it was, but you were getting bits and pieces throughout the days. Shuichi brought you back from deep thoughts by giving your hand a squeeze right back, and you looked up to find a different spark in the detective’s eyes. Behind the pain, behind all the sadness, was the same gleam of determination you had seen in Kaede. Not consciously, your hand let go of his. 

”I,” he began, clearing his throat when his voice cracked. “I’m going to… visit Kaede’s lab.” There was no unspoken invite, so you deduced that he wanted to go and mourn alone. He paused, before he added, “Thank you.” 

You noted the irony and shook your head, beginning to walk towards the school buildings and head to the dorms. “Don’t thank me,” you replied over your shoulder with a wave. “Goodnight, Shuichi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, Reader-tan is a messy, messy character.
> 
> Tags will be updated as I go along! Didn't really outline this and I'm doing it for fun, but I'm really enjoying writing it.


	3. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some further interaction and more confused feelings

You didn’t go back to your room that night. Instead, you roamed the school grounds in search of somewhere you could climb and perch. After half an hour, you gave up and settled for the open field by the school, where you could lie down and stare up at the artificial sky and dome that caged you in this hellish place. Were you a sitting duck out here for someone to murder if they pleased? Yes, you were; however, you knew in your gut it was not your time yet. Lying on the grass, hair splayed behind you, you gazed up intently at the pinpricks of light above you, trying to decipher a message, a sign, something to guide you. 

”What are you doing out here by yourself?” You heard a male voice ask, accompanied by heavy footfalls and the slight crunch of the grass beneath large feet. “It’s not safe, you know. Everyone’s on edge…” 

Unfazed, you continued to lie still and gaze at the artificial stars. “Everyone else is in their rooms.” Your newly-arrived company stopped just beside you, looking down at you with disapproval in his face, his broad form obscuring your view. “Sit down beside me, I can’t see the fake sky with you standing above me, Kaito,” you said. The Luminary of the Stars shook his head slightly but obeyed, sinking down beside you, though he remained upright. His own gaze ascended at the “night sky.” 

”You didn’t answer the question. What’re you doing out here on your own?” 

”Searching for answers,” you replied tonelessly, less out of crudeness and more from emotional exhaustion. “But the stars aren’t real. It feels like even if I decipher some sort of message, it’ll be from whoever has us stuck in here anyway.” You felt the sleeve of Kaito’s jacket brush against you as he shifted, moving to lie beside you. 

”Is that what being an Ultimate Seer means? Fortune-telling through the stars?” 

”Of sorts…” you mumble, “I’m supposed to see glimpses of the future, see signs that will guide me, see things easier than most. But… I’m a mess inside. It’s throwing me off.” Kaito was silent for a moment, before you heard him take a breath to begin speaking. 

”Everyone is feeling really low right now, after everything that has happened. But we can’t let Rantaro and Kaede’s deaths be in vain.” The purple-haired male raised his hand, reaching up with an outstretched hand. “We need to keep going, keep fighting… ‘cause behind that fake sky is the real one, and we won’t reach it if we settle and stay where we are.” 

_What a beautiful way to put it,_ you found yourself thinking, raising your own hands towards the sky. But just as your fingers stretched to reach up to whatever was past the dome, your vision blurred and flashed, a vision of bloodied hands ripping through your view, of the weight of a shot put ball and the sound it made when it cracked his skull, of the stench of looming death and the inevitability of it all. Your arms faltered as you returned to reality, the light feeling in your heart from Kaito’s speech crumbling into nothing. Kaito can reach past that dome, along with everyone else, but you? You felt like you were destined to stay right here. “Right,” you whispered, your arms falling slowly beside you once more. You didn’t miss the way Kaito’s purple eyes kept flicking to you, perhaps out of worry, and rightfully so as you slid your eyes shut and felt the weight of the past two days fall onto you. 

_You stood before your shoe locker, switching your school shoes to your worn sneakers. Behind you, a couple of girls said goodbye to each other, and you wished quietly to yourself that you had someone to say goodbye to, too. You began to head out, head down and hiding your face with your hair, blending into the background and posture curled into yourself making you look smaller than you were. You didn’t want to go back home just yet, where you would feel more alone than here. You decided you would go to the library and print out some more resumes so you could continue searching for a part-time job._

_As you turned the corner, someone rammed into you, hard, making both your forms fall in a heap. You yelped in pain as the other person collapsed on top of you, and you looked up in surprise to see the most potent expression of desperation you’ve ever seen on anyone’s face. The other student was panting, couldn’t even express an apology as thin arms scrambled to grab the fallen notebooks and stuff them back into a ratty school bag._

_”Where did he go?!” exclaimed a voice from somewhere nearby, but still out of view, and you felt the body against you stiffen in what you could only describe as petrification. Glancing quickly at the smaller person’s face, you realized he was bruised and bleeding from a split lip, uniform dirty and dishevelled. Instinctively, you helped him shove the rest of his stuff into his bag and hauled him up with ease, running right back into the school despite your outdoor shoes. Cleanliness and propriety be damned, you ran for the closest ladies bathroom and, knowing it was usually empty around this hour, pushed your companion in. Through the little window that connected to outside, you could hear running footsteps and angry voices, promising pain later and a bunch of curses._

_You both rested against the wall for a moment, catching your breath._

_”I,” came his voice, and surprisingly, it wasn’t shaky or soft or mousey as you had expected, though his eyes were downcast. “I didn’t need you help…” You couldn’t help but laugh quietly, taking some napkins and wetting them for him to wipe his face with._

_”That’s a lie,” you accused, outstretching your hand with the wet napkin for him to take. He looked at the napkin with apprehension, but took it after some consideration, purple eyes meeting yours._

You sat up with a gasp, looking around. You were back in your room, tucked into bed, with a piece of paper with the stars drawn crudely on it by your pillow. It took a few seconds for you to piece together where you were, and when you did, you curled up into a ball and hugged your knees close to your chest, tears spilling down your cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Reader will be interacting with all, if not most, of the characters.  
> I'm not really following the canon story/timeline which is why I tagged this an AU and Divergence.
> 
> Reader is a mess, but hopefully, she'll figure herself out soon enough. She's going to have to, if she is to achieve what she wants to achieve.
> 
> Tell me your thoughts!


End file.
